it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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