Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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