Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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