And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
