my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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