brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
