I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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