He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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