I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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