I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
