Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
