she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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