Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
