I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
