I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
