You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
