Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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