her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
