I just saw a hot homeless man
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
