I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
