I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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