how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
