From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
