Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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