Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
