Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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