I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
