I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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