He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
