Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How drunk are you?
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