I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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