I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
