first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
why do cheetos always look like penises
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
