The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
