OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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