dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
