If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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