You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How external is "for external use only"?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
