Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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