we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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