I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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