I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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