Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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