Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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