Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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