We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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