i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
