I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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