If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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