I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
