everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
